DIE COCKROACH DIE!

I know what you’re saying. How can one possibly write a whole post about a single creature most common to human household and make it an interesting read…well, hate to break it to you, my friends, but I CAN!

This morning, El Rey’s car overheated and was stranded on the side of the road somewhere. I called the mechanic, then called my mom and in the midst of all those calls, while my mom was yapping away about her plans to get El Rey “rescued”, I spotted a movement at the passenger window and turned to look.

It was a huge (okay, not so huge….OKAY YOU CAUGHT ME! It was a baby cockroach, about 1 cm long), brownish red, with extremely long legs cockroach! My immediate thought was to e-brake and jump out of the car, running wildly away in the midst of oncoming traffic along the NKVE Sky 17-Abu Bakar area. And I was screaming in the car, panicking…!

THe first thing I did, because the damn thing was near the window, was to wind down the window and let it out. Let me show you what the conversation was like in my head and in the car with the bastard.

“Please….please….just go out…the window is open…NO! NO! Don’t go there! That’s right…go out the wind—-NO! NO! Stop hiding! (Went behind the dashboard) Where did it go? Where did it go? Come out! Come out please! (It appeared on the dashboard) DONT COME OUT! AHHH!! AHHH!! Don’t come here! Go back! GO back! No don’t go back! I HAVE TO KILL YOU!”

So I took a tissue pack and threw at it, then the panicked cockroach went behind the dashboard again. At this point, I knew I had to stop, or else a REAL accident is going to happen. I stopped at the yellow line, placed the hazard on and searched for it. It appeard with me screaming like a mad woman, below the glove compartment. I took my water bottle, half-filled with water, and smashed it (screaming every time). It fell to the floor mat and I smashed at it until I was sure he did not have any legs or body to run anywhere.

I had a psycho murderer’s mind! I had to make sure its blood (juices) was spattered all over the mat. I had to make sue I get its head smashed in! I had to make sure his attenna was seperated from its head and the legs from its body! I needed to kill it or not get to work at all!

I remember when EN had a cockroach in her car…she didn’t do anything to it. It just dissapeared. I couldn’t do that. I needed to know it is OUT of my car. When El Rey came to take my car to work, he helped me remove the carcass…or what is left to identify from the carcass…

I have done a little research and I realized that the species  of cockroaches in Malaysian households is NOT even the Asian Cockroach. It is the American Cockroach! Asian cockroaches are green and they live mostly in Japan but the American cockroach roams widely around the world and is known as the most hated creature on this planet! Actually, ALL American cockroaches can fly! When the humidity is right!!!!

That’s a scary thought. I believed that only certain species of cockroaches can fly, but now I know ALL of them can fly when the temperature is right, I will not try to spray them with bug spray, and rather smash them to death like I did this morning (If I dared to do it again). Imagine coming home to find 5 American Cockroaches who can fly!! DISGUSTING! And creepy!!

Cockroaches are usually nocturnal and will run when exposed to light. The only exception to the rule is the Asian Cockroach. But what I saw today was not an Asian Cockroach at all. It was definitely an AMERICAN Cockroach nymph! Damn things!

I feel the hairs on my skin standing right now. It is a sign I must stop. Though I must say one thing about the cockroach before I sign off: The back is better looking then the bottom part.

EWEWEWEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW